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I am an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.
- Gabor

No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln

We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.
- Robin Williams

It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.
- Mark Twain